Monday, December 27, 2010

Sugar, Alcohol And The Price We Pay

I don't know about you all but I sure indulged over the holiday weekend! I ate, drank and was merry for a rollicking 3 days straight. I ate cookies, cheesecake, chocolate and bread pudding. I drank brandy & eggnog, sangria, champagne and red wine (not all at once!). I ate pork shoulder, filet mignon, stuffed salmon and pretty much as much as I possibly could! I have not done yoga or walked the dogs in days. I had fun indulging and pretending there would be no consequences for my actions. Was it worth it? I don't know, the jury is still out. But I woke up this morning with a SPLITTING headache. Not a stroke headache, not to worry, but a bad one none the less. My body hurts, I am not sure what the word motivation means, or if I have ever even heard it before, and am in a post-holiday flare to rival all flares! I am tired, achy, whiny, lazy and...still in bed at 2:30 in the afternoon! I did manage to take Yorkie & Porkie out and feed them breakfast at least, but that is LITERALLY all I have done today. And I feel not one bit guilty for indulging my self-induced symptoms, for I need to recoup in order to regroup and don't regret enjoying my holiday.

It is insane this tight little balance beam I must walk in order to keep my Fibromyalgia symptoms in check. One slight misstep, one itty-bitty sway, and I am knocked off and have to climb a proverbial mountain to get back on again. I allowed myself to go WAY off the reservation this last weekend and sit here in a post-gorged daze, wondering how to get back on track, how long it will take. This is life with Fibromyalgia. Constantly having to weigh action vs. consequence. The foot-loose and fancy free girl from my youth is now a calculatingly careful decision maker, knowing that for every action there is a reaction. Most of the time I chose wisely. But the times I do not I pay dearly without fail.

I have spent years beating myself up for this pattern. So irritated with myself when I feel bad. So mad I made the choices I made. But that kinda defeats the purpose of the enjoyment of the indulgence and I have learned to release my expectations of perfection. I can now accept that 3 days of excess leads to at least 1 day in bed. I no longer beat myself up or get mad at myself. I may feel terrible and have a journey ahead of me to get my balance back, and sure won't be doing this again anytime soon, but man 'o man did I have fun! Practicing the art of acceptance and forgiveness of oneself is a lifelong journey. So as I resign myself to a day in bed, snuggled up with my snoozing pups, I am grateful for the fun I had over the holiday and anticipate resuming my normal activities that keep my Fibromyalgia managed tomorrow. I just wish  that darn cheesecake would stop calling my name from the kitchen...

Thanks for joining,

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  1. So glad you shared this and that I came across it today. Reminds me that I need to get up off my butt and take a step in order to feel better. Was great until I let Christmas prep get the best of me. Haven't exercised, haven't eaten right, lots of stress and haven't slept well. I feel awful and am letting it get the best of me. Will snuggle with my pups tonight and start fresh in the am!

  2. Hi, Leah! The holidays were also a time of indulging in sweets for me, and I'm feeling the effects myself. I'm new to the fibro diagnosis, and I was wondering if you had ever considered or investigated a connection with your fibro and candida (yeast) overgrowth? This is something new I'm just beginning to research myself. The symptoms of both seem to be very similar and it seems there could be a connection, especially considering how much sugar aggravates our symptoms...that is what yeast feeds off of. Hmmmmm.....any thoughts?

  3. I had horrible candida when I was super sick in the beginning, took anti-fungals for months to get over it. Now I eat a lot of yogurt and take acidophilous pills daily. It will creep up on me if I am not careful and eat too much sugar. Hard to find a MD that will take the candida thing seriously...but my strain was resistant to Diflucan and I had to go on an old drug that was HARD on the liver to finally get rid of it. It was causing IBS, too.

  4. Fascinating, Leah! Thank you for sharing your experience with me! Someone has recommended a doctor to me who is a medical doctor recognized by insurance and who also treats candida she's only a half hour away! :) I'm going to try to see her after the first of the year. I'll go from there and see what happens! Glad to hear you are "lilac" today...I'm mulberry, but I have the whole day to rest and get my feet under me. Every once in a while I make a smart decision. :) Blessings!