Saturday, December 4, 2010

My Mother-In-Law

Man 'o man was she a force to be reckoned with! I firmly believe if she had not liked me I would not be married to her son. She ruled that family with an iron fist softened by love and a genuine desire to see her children happy. She recognized in me a strong woman, one that would keep her baby (even thought he was the oldest and only boy) in line and on the right path. My husband was very close to his mother, but I never realized how close until I got caller ID. I started checking my log (back when it was its own machine, not part of the phone) and would find she was calling our house 10x a day, leaving only maybe 2 messages. She would come to visit and load us up at the grocery store. We would not have survived our first year together of extreme poverty if not for the supermarket gift certificates and boxes of clearance clothes from The Gap she would send us. She was a pistol! Loved her bingo and played the lotto regularly, her spirit was feisty and strong and as stubborn as the day is long. The family trip to Laughlin, Nevada for my in-laws 25th anniversary was a gambling extravaganza and she kept feeding us money to play the slots. We were so broke that when I finally won a bit and wanted to keep it she got pissed off that I was not going for gold, settling for copper. That was my mother-in-law.

Sadly she passed away 6 months after we got married. It was heartbreaking, devastating, and one thing that still sticks out in my mind is my best friend telling me that our lives will go on, but she will not be woven into the fabric of our experiences, just a bit of representation at the beginning. That has sadly been true. She was a medical professional and worked for private clients, usually taking the night shift. She was the one that would provide in-home care for end of life patients. Tough job for one tough cookie! My father in law suffered 2 strokes when the kids were still in the home and he was quite young. I believe it is all this exposure to sickness that makes my husband look at me like I am nuts when I go on and on about how amazing he is for sticking it out with me through my multitude of illnesses. See health problems are not foreign to him! So many live in a bubble of this perfect little dream life and when one upset comes they bail. We all have friends or family or even ourselves that have experienced that. I myself lived in that bubble before I got sick, but to my husband health problems are a part of life and you just roll with it...and roll he does...

At our wedding my mother-in-law was the one that made the speech, being the more outspoken of my husbands parents. Her words were short, concise and to the point. She said everything she needed to say in a few quick sentences. "I am not losing a son, I am gaining a daughter, and to me she is Platinum!" To be compared to Platinum by that lady is akin to likening ones pride and dignity to Jackie O. Powerful! Oh we miss her. We miss her so much, she was the glue of the family, the one that brought everyone together and ALWAYS had the final word. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my husband can deal with me and all my antics and craziness because compared to his mother, I don't even hold a candle! May she rest in peace...

Thanks for joining,

No comments:

Post a Comment