Saturday, December 18, 2010

Christmas Is On It's Way

Christmas is one week from today. Actually, seeing as Christmas Eve is considered Christmas, it is 6 days from today. I have yet to put 1 ornament on my tree that has been up for over a week with just the lights on (it comes that way). I have yet to buy 1 gift for anyone and don't plan on it seeing as I have no money. I have not sent 1 card or even taken the family photo that is the card yet. Basically, it could be the middle of July and I would have done nothing different over the last few weeks except drag the tree from the garage into the apartment. I would not so much say I am lacking in Christmas spirit, I am just dealing with other issues in my life and am not giving it the proper frenzy it expects. I have worked retail the last 10 years and Christmas has always been a miserable holiday for me. Working at 5am, staying open until midnight, the sales pressure, the 6 days a week 10 hours a day on your feet nightmare that is retail Christmas. Oh I am so grateful to not have to work it this year. Maybe that is why I am doing the ostrich head in the sand to Christmas, just pretending it is not happening. It has commanded way too much of my attention in years past and this is my attempt to balance.

We will buy the puppies some gifts and wrap them pretty under the tree. Yorkie unwraps gifts and it is one of the funnier things to watch. He even has his own special dog paper, but he already knows which ones are for him without it. This year he will have to share with his sister and that should be an interesting one. Porkie needs a stocking, too. So I guess I will technically be buying a few gifts but the $40 we spend on the children doesn't really count. It is awkward, though, to try and opt out of gift giving with the family. I cannot receive without giving, it just feels wrong, and I know people are going to give us gifts! I have made it very clear we are not exchanging this year, for if my husband is not getting one, no one else is either! But people don't listen. They get caught up in the excitement of giving and don't realize how embarrassing it is not to be able to afford to exchange even small gifts. My aunt came to visit today and brought us a few fun things, and I gave her a The Fibromyalgia Crusade awareness band! I felt so stupid! She liked it and wanted one anyway, and even bought one for her friend, but still... It is impossible to escape Christmas! And it is not even Christmas itself I have the problem with, it is all the rest of the excessiveness that goes with it. We are going to church, hanging out with our loved ones and enjoying time together. That is what Christmas is about for us this year. We are counting our blessings, which are numerous and bountiful, and enjoying the gifts of each other. And I can guarantee you, come February when no exorbitant credit card bills come due, I will be glad we did it this way!

Thanks for joining,


  1. I feel the same as you do, this year. The emphasis is put on the wrong thing. I just enjoy getting together with people i usually don't see too often during the year, and catching up. Added to the having no money , i have also just had sinus surgery two weeks ago. So, i really don't FEEL like partying this year. I've told everyone this year, i was hibernating, but i've already had some gifts brought over. How do you tell them without being rude, that you are just not participating this year and you dont want anything??? I haven't been able to talk to anyone for the past two weeks, so, i did send out some cards. That is all i wanted to do, and it was rough just getting that done. I'm so grateful i have so many people that care about me, but i truly mean what i say. I am not giving anything this year, i do not expect to receive either. So, i am right there with you Leah..... i'm having a AMETHYST day today!!!

  2. Hi Leah,
    I also feel the way that you do. We did the Big family and company Thanksgiving. Right now along with other health problems, The Fibro is flaring. I have no money. I work but the boss is so far behind in paying. There is absolutely no money for gifts. My sister and her family live with dad and I. They bought gifts and the tree and did all the decorating. But I also just feel like hibernating and dropping out. Thanksgiving really took it out of me. Don't get me wrong it was very nice. I had invited an ex who I hadn't seen in 7 years. So we reconnected. But I am just so tired. I just wish Christmas was over. The last thing I want to be is rude, But I just want to be left alone in my misery. Let the new year begin and maybe it will be better for all of us this year. I just want to drop out!

  3. Receiving a gift without having one to give in return is one of life's most difficult lessons. We are so into giving and receiving and feel embarassed when we aren't able to return in-kind. We must learn to smile and say "thank you". When someone gives us a gift, they are giving it to show how much they love us. When you give a gift to another person, do you expect a gift of equal or better value? No? Not being able to give a gift in return doesn't reflect on you one bit. You have said you can't exchange this year. Everyone knows that. They are bringing you a gift to show how much they care about you and love you. In most cases, they expect nothing in return but your PRESENCE. You are the gift. Smile, give a hug and say "thank you.....I love you, too". Learning to just receive.....allowing others to give to you is hard, it takes practice. We all like to be good givers but we also must be good receivers.

  4. With your immense ability to put pen to paper, may I suggest doing so for those you love? I can't think of a more fitting way of showing someone how much you love them then by taking a few moments to tell them so in a special note just for them. Far more precious then any gift you could buy them. And the cost...priceless!Trust me my sweet lady, as a Mom, friend and relative, I can't think of anything more fitting!
    Love you honey & a very Merry Christmas to you and yours! Judy J