As far as weeks go, last week was overwhelmingly stressful. This Monday I woke up feeling like a crackhead who hadn't slept. Being the extreme creature of habit I am, this means I buried my nose in writing my book all day, and ignored the totality of my responsibilities. It's just so much easier to bypass reality if I'm not actively thinking about it! By the time I checked off every excuse in the book it was 2AM, and I still had to do the dishes, pack my husbands lunch, take the dogs out, brush my teeth and straighten up the house. I also hadn't showered, juiced in 3 days, or done yoga for 5. Sigh. Where did all my progress go?
I finally drag my sorry self off the sofa to do the dishes, but I'm feeling so terrible at this point I couldn't even stand up. Like "had to sit on the floor so I didn't pass out" can't stand up. As I sat on the kitchen floor feeling like the walls of sickness were closing back in on me, panic kicked in. An overwhelming need to not go backwards in life consumed me. Whatever resolve my stress-induced lazy behavior excused away, I re-discovered. With a start I suddenly realized discipline, formerly the bane of my existence, had become my saving grace!
After downing a bunch of vitamins and immune-boosters, and sleeping for 9 solid hours, I woke up this morning with the fire of panic hot under my bottom. It wasn't until I walked the dogs, did yoga and juiced that I took a breath, and realized I felt much better today. Phew! Crisis diverted. But it didn't take long for me to realize how little room for error my new-found health brings along with it. Just a few hits of stress, coupled with a lapse in either my desire or ability to adhere to the stringent regiment, and I'm down for the count. Logically, it seems horribly unrealistic and like I am destined for failure. After all, I'm hardly the girl known for her strict adherence to anything. Then I recalled the point in time when I was so fatigued I had to lay down for an hour between taking a shower and putting lotion on my body. Leaving the house was a pipe dream. Let alone cooking, cleaning, walking my dog, or standing in the kitchen for two hours to juice copious amounts of vegetables into a rather small amount of juice. Somehow I got from there to...the girl who went to Las Vegas for a family reunion last month. The reminder was all I needed to keep going.
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