Thursday, March 10, 2011
Who Do I Think I Am?
I feel like such a moron. Such an idiot for thinking I could truly affect change. A dim wit thinking little ol' me could actually do something to bring awareness, unite a splintered patient body and further the advancement of people's lives that have Fibromyalgia. Thinking I could blog each day and start an awareness campaign and start an online support group and bring an often emotionally abused group of people together to show the world we are not crazy, lazy, wimpy or junkies. We are truly sick and need answers and help, not dismissive doctors and disabling drugs. I never knew how much hate I would encounter along the way. AND NOT ONE BIT OF IT HAS BEEN FROM OUTSIDE OUR COMMUNITY. So carry on, Fibro patients. Keep ripping each other apart. I am not strong enough for this. I am a woman who is sick too. I am a woman that pays her bills by the skin of her teeth each month off the broken back of my husband and his commitment to keep us up and running. I AM SO STUPID! I invested far more into this venture financially than I have ever seen returned. I invested my heart and soul and sacrificed so much. And for what? To be judged and slandered and degraded by the very people I am trying to help? People I though were like me but are not. For I understand the soul is as delicate as a butterfly and carry compassion in my heart for those that struggle with this terrible illness. Shame on me for thinking it would be returned.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Wow I don't know who or what this pertains to but I am so sorry. Please don't give up! There are so many people that you have helped, myself included, that are ready to stand up and fight with you. As for those that aren't kick them off and ignore their negativity. They are not worth giving up the fight for our lives!
ReplyDeleteBarbara Palmer
My thoughts exactly, Barbara, please don't give up. You are helping so many, myself included, with your posts and blogs and insights. Thank y ou for all that you do Leah!
ReplyDeleteKeri Lewis
Hey, tell them you know a gen-u whine East Baltimore Broad who will adjust their attitude - as soon as "Fibro-fog" lifts and she remembers what is is she was doing, and pain lessens enough to get it done!I'll knock some sense into 'em!
ReplyDelete;-) AnnS
Don't give up. Every group of people has a few stupid ones in it. The rest of us think you are doing a great job.
ReplyDeletewell one thing for sure, your not going to be able to change everyones mind but you can change some and that's better than nothing! It has to start somewhere and I can tell you that I have met people on here and learned some things I didn't know otherwise. I think you should BLOG only when you feel up to it and pray for the people that are trying to bring you down! Because they are ignorant! I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteYou are not a moron idiot or anything of the kind! You are a beautiful compassionate woman who is willing to share her trials and tribulations of these HORRIBLE diseases that take so much from our lives! There is no place in this world for ignorant hurtful people! I have only recently joined your FB and read your blog (about a month) and you have given me both hope and inspiration. I truly hope & pray you do not give up! More importantly I hope you NEVER take to heart what some JERK (I really want to use some choice word here)has said!
ReplyDeleteYou are a breath of fresh air and an inspiration to many! Carry on your/our crusade!
Much love to you!!!
I have hope in my heart every time I look down at my wrist and see that purple band. I've spread awareness to 5 individuals in the week I've had it by people asking "so what's the purple for?" I had a good doctors appointment partially because of the packet. I feel more included and accepted than I have ever felt in my life.
ReplyDeleteLeah, I'm gonna let everyone else try to build you up here, but I'm gonna do for you what I need done for me once in a while and just gonna call you out. You are trying to change the way people think, and dealing with people with a some pretty serious illnesses. Most of us have some pretty serious mental and emotional issues too. This is nothing compared to what you are going to encounter when this Crusade really gets moving. It's small scale.
Delete their negative asses and let's move on so we can make a difference and make some change... because it's pretty obvious that some people really don't want it, we can't let them hold us back anymore than we can let the non believing doctors, lay people, insurance companies, and politicians hold us back.
No, no, and no, you are not a moron! I love what you've done and have accomplished. I'm proud of you Leah. You have such a talent for writing down what we all feel. In every group of people there are 10% that make it bad. We have those in the Marine Corps and we call them the 10%. They don't contribute to the greater good and tear down those that represent that good. Don't give up I need you, I need FFH, and I'm here for you all, whether I'm lilac, mulberry, amethyst or LMA. I know some martial arts and I know how to shoot a pistol and rifle send the 10% my way.
ReplyDeleteLeah~~~ it is hard enough to deal with people, the world and all its issues when you are well let alone when you are sick with pain. Be GOOD to yourself. Don't let the negativity of others bring you down. The Enemy of our souls is to stop us from doing good. You have POWER thru CHOICE over the Enemy. We are here for YOU and each other. We will not break ranks for WE with YOU are a POWERFUL ARMY. MARCH ON with this CRUSADE! There is much to be done!!! LOVE and PRAYERS to YOU and US!
ReplyDeleteLeah,
ReplyDeleteTell the haters, and the idiotic morons attacking you and demanding to see your accounting to kiss your grits. They need to get a life, because they obviously do not have one of their own. They are just jealous because you are accomplishing something they cannot. Hang in there lady...Love you <3
Leah, ever since I read this earlier in the day I've been praying for you to have the grace to do what you feel you need to do. I, and many others, so appreciate the time and energy you put into the Funhouse and your blog. They have both been a HUGE blessing to me.
ReplyDeleteNow in my opinion (& I'm old enough to have lots of 'em!) it may be helpful to have a stated on the side wall no-tolerance-of-hate policy and start booting people off if they act that way.
Anyway, please be at peace, wonderful woman!
Leah have faith, you are an amazing person for what you have done. I myself can say that if you werent for you and you website, fb, blog...ect,lol... i dont know where i would be. I get anxious checking things to see what you have to say next! With my fibro at the worst flare I have ever been in, and my husband frustrated with the effects it has had on our lives, i found you. Now my husband and I both read the blog and follow your site and fb. We love it. It has helped me to explain to him what is going on with the fibro, and him to understand it more. It gives me insight daily...its so nice not to feel alone. I know there are bad apples in every batch, but jus throw them out and carry on. "Keep calm and carry on"...love that saying, i tend to get worked up easy so when my frustration is at alltime high I have begun to use that quote I have seen several places recently!!! Maybe it will help you too, and as for them bad apples who try to spoil the bushel....throw them out, we dont need them to flourish. You are wonderful for what you have done here.....I have a huge respect for all you do, and much admiration for the good things I know will come to you. Keep the faith gal!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what happened but I know you've been in tears lately. We can have 1,000 people who love us and one who doesn't.....and it's that one who will kill our spirit. This is really pissing me off.
ReplyDeleteWhat if you gave up the Fun House for Lent?? Lent is a time for deep introspection. Maybe you do need a vacation~from the Fun House and everyone in it. Take some time for yourself and your husband. Take the pressure off. We can see if it can sustain itself.
So many people have gained so much because of you. It would be so sad to stop it now. But you do need a break and time to get yourself back to center. Please take care of YOU. I love you Leah. You are a jewel.
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI do hope that it gets better for you. I like the fun house and your blog is very interesting and makes me think. I, like you, am paying my bills by the skin of my teeth (no hubby here). I do hope you do what is best for you. Take care of yourself.
I haven't been reading your blog for long but my heart goes out to you. I know what it feels like to give your ALL and not feel much return. I started my blog to document my journey from Fibro to Wellness. My blog takes up so much energy. I gave it up for a week because the stress of it was causing my wellness to decline. I have been doing yoga every day and meditating. And I am feeling better. Much more centered and peaceful and less pain. Consider taking a break and regrouping. Feel free to visit me on my blog and comment back to yours. http://joyswellnesstrip.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteLeah, I too have met with those that try to bring me down but I fight them by ignoring them. We have to band together and not let those morons tear us apart. You have been the biggest inspiration to so many of us. Please don't give up this fight. I will fight right along beside my sister I call Leah. You have brought so much awareness to my eyes and it breaks my heart that someone so callous could tear you down and want to give up.. Please, PLEASE!! Don't go away. We all need you here. I need you. To those that hate us.. they can kiss my lily white behind and I'll even bend over for them so they don't miss the best part..I love you. Hang in there hon and let's put em in their places...............Marilyn Smith
ReplyDeleteLeah please take time to take care of yourself. You are doing such wonderful things. I don't even know you but I believe in you and your/our cause and I am behind you 110%. I don't know what or who has caused you so much pain and I don't care. There are so many positive people who love you and what you are doing I hope you can look past the negative. We need you and I am so grateful to have found you and your/my crusade to bring awareness and hopefully get research going for fibro. But, take time for yourself, we all need it!
ReplyDeleteLove you and bless you,
Debby Myers
Leah... I'm torn. On the one hand I want to BEG you to not give up, to keep fighting and to NOT let the naysayers bring you down. On the other hand, I want to say how well I understand. We've emailed a bit about my awareness project, so on a much smaller scale, I do understand. It's hard just to get through each day, the menial tasks most take for granted & never give a second thought to are those which require so much of us that some days we can't even accomplish a shower. If your health is going to suffer, do NOT feel like you have to keep fighting for us, baby. The most important thing is your health and wellness. Your cause is obviously VERY important to us all, but more than we need you fighting, we want you well.
ReplyDeleteI don't know the answer for you, that is left between you, your husband, and God. What I do know, and will guarantee, is that I care and I am praying for you. As a previous poster suggested, at least consider taking a break. You've been blogging lately about this depression that has crept back in, and I dare say most of us understand that. Once your health (mental and physical) is improved, we will be here for you should you decide to return.
(And btw, there's absolutely NOTHING wrong IF you are trying to make a wee bit of a profit from all your hard work!!! You're doing so much for our cause, you at the very least need to recoup your costs.. AND make it worth your time. We all know those wristbands didn't cost what you're charging, but we're buying them anyway. Why? B/c we WANT you to recover what you've put into US, and we WANT to be able to help you and your hubby cover your bills even if it is just a tiny bit. So those who are giving you crap - are THEY putting their ALL into helping others? Somehow I SERIOUSLY doubt it.)
Love, hugs and so many prayers for you, sweet girl...