Wednesday, March 30, 2011

You Are So Much Stronger Than You Think You Are

Dear Fibromyalgia Patients,

I see you every day, from the outside looking in. I see your struggles, dashed-dreams and continual push for normalcy, a life without pain and anguish. I see your sacrifices, your tears, your disappointment and determination. I see your anger at a life that has been robbed. Taken. Snatched away when you least expect it. I see your anger and in all of this I see the spirit of a true warrior. Not by choice but by circumstance, each of you have risen above what seeks to claim your life. Even on your darkest, most hopeless days, your ability to carry on is astounding. Especially then. I see the impossibility many of you face with medical care too archaic to treat your illness so you can get back on the train of the life you had planned. I see surrender. I see fight. I see ups and downs and depression and elation when something is discovered to diminish your pain, improve your sleep, reduce your symptoms. I see you, often blamed and mistreated by family and friends that just don't want to understand. Don't want to make concessions to the limitations your illness places on their life. I see it all.

I feel the pain involved in giving up dreams of parenthood. I see the struggles to feel like a valid parent, keep up with your children, keep up with the expectations of raising them. Struggles to get through the night with a crying baby, and to get through the day with an angry teenager. I see spouses degrade and disrespect you and many relationships fail. I see supportive spouses that induce guilt beyond compare, through no fault of their own. I see the struggle to remain employed and insured, and the battle that ensues once that is no longer viable. I see careers flushed down the toilet once you are too sick to work. I see horrible rounds with disability, denial after denial. Waiting periods for government health care, and the lack of options once it is attained. I see so many barely hanging on by a string financially. Left dependent yet alone. I see the financial ruin life becomes when one just can't work, can't get better, can't improve their situation. My heart bleeds for the babies, the 16 and 18 year old's that enter adulthood already sick. And for those even younger, oh my. I see the pain of a vibrant person of middle age giving-up so much they have worked for, a strange illness coming out of nowhere like a wrecking-ball through a plate glass window. The shattered glass and shared remains of a life no longer livable as it has always been. Oh my dear friends I see it all. For I too am one of you.

But I also see the strongest group of people there are. I see you reach out to each other in times of need. I see compassion and encouragement and the sheer comfort of knowing there are others out there rooting for you. I see strangers form bonds over the computer that are stronger than lifetime friendships. I see a group of people that genuinely care about each other. It is a rare thing in this day and age, in this wild world we live in. So much to do, so much to see, all this technology. I see a group that has slowed down, stepped out of the rat race, and had to re-group, re-strategize how this thing called life is going to go. For plan A is out the window, and plan B is worming into its place. I see each day as an opportunity, another chance to get this beast under control. So to all my friends with Fibromyalgia, I just want to take a moment to say, you are 10 times stronger than you think you are, and you will discover that day by day.

Thanks for joining,


  1. Wow this made me cry. Can we blame the menses??? ;) Thank you for posting this Leah. I love it!

  2. Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this today! I can always come to your blog or follow your words on FB and you always make the future seem less bleek!
    Your fellow Fibromite,
    Cadell Lemis

  3. Absolutely need to hear this today too! Thanks for taking the time to keep all of us uplifted, and yet allowed to be ourselves.
    Lori Curtis

  4. Made me cry too, as posted in my blog I am really depressed right now. So its nice to know that someone who there "sees" us. Thank you for writing this.

  5. Well me too ladies! Some days I feel so alone in this battle despite having a wonderful supportive husband & family. Joining the Fun House has made me feel like there is a community that understands those everyday trials and tribulations we go through. You are amazing Leah and bring so much to all of us. Thank you!

  6. I am new around here.I read the blog religiously for the last almost 4 months now.Also the Fun House is great too.Am so glad I found you all.Even though I have never posted I like reading about all that's going on.Leah you are an inspiration.How after all you have been through, you are about the strongest person.I get really down alot and am In a chronic case of limbo due to constant medication changes & adjustments. They are finally starting to get me some pain control & some sleep. I can't really blame some of the bad things to the Fibro because i'm also BiPolar so they say some symptoms are in commen but some of the BiPolar meds are also used for chronic pain. If I could get over this constant exhaustion but with all the meds i'm on that is most likely the cause.I'm so sorry to have rambled on, just had to tell Leah how much I think of her and all that she does for others.All I can think to say is you must be a amazing person & for me I know my last thread some days.I now tell myself if you can tame this Fibro Monster then I'm going to do it too.Thank you for being here & being you.******** Crystal

  7. Thank you for putting into words what we all feel!