Thursday, December 2, 2010

Bring On The Haters

In 2007, on my husband's birthday, he picked me up at home on his lunch break from work so we could go out to eat and I could have the car for the rest of the afternoon. We were innocently driving along a residential area we drove through multiple times a day. He stopped at a four-way stop, proceeded to go and then BAM! Some moron ran his stop-sign and plowed right into us in the middle of the intersection. In California the insurance companies declare fault and even though we called the police they did nothing but instruct us to move our car from the middle of the road. Long story short the other driver lied and said we ran our stop-sign. The insurance companies were pathetic in investigating, I was too sick to do anything about this and my husband was working too much to invest effort in proving his innocence. My blood would boil, my symptoms would flare, my anger would rage every time I thought of this. But I had no energy to spare. It was all I could do to make it to work and maintain a skeleton of a life. I had a choice to make, obsess and spiral downward or learn to let it go. Oh that was a hard one! I chose to let it go. Every time I would think of this asshole I would have to take that anger, wrap it up in a neat little package and let it float off into the universe, standing firm in the belief that no bad deed goes unpunished. There are things you have to answer for, if not in this life than surely in the next.

See there is so much we cannot control in life! So many infuriating and frustrating and down right unfair things. We will doubtlessly come into contact with liars, harassers and haters, the evil of this world. We will sometimes fall victim to their antics. We will cross paths with users and scammers and tricksters and unsavory characters. It is inevitable. But ultimately the way we react to this scum is our choice, and the only real control we have in the situation. I find I can sit there and have what I call a "circular argument" until I am blue in the face and no longer have breath in my body. It is an irrational argument with an irrational person that will never result in a rational conclusion because you are not dealing with sanity! Or I can take a big fat swig of "let it go" and do just that, let it go! Let them be on their way, believing what they want, behaving like the mean and small-minded individuals they are. Sadly enough, more often than not, you are dealing with a broken spirit that has built up a facade of strength through ugly bullying and harassing antics to hide the pain deep in their souls. But that is not our problem.

As one darn funny comedian, Katt Williams says, "So what she/he keeps talking about you and hating on you. What do you think a "hater's" job hate! If you have someone hating on you right now you better think of how to get 5 more people hating by Christmas! You need haters to make you stronger...without haters most people wouldn't try to become better. Just tell them "Bitch you just hate me because you can't be me..." So yes we will continue to come into contact with the crazy, the negative, the BAD people in life. Sadly there are just too many of them to avoid. But we will put them in the proper perspective of our lives. They simply don't matter. Their opinions don't make a difference, their ignorance only shows how pathetic they are. I know I can truly judge myself at two distinct points in my day. Those first few moments when I open my eyes in the morning and those last few moments before I close them at night. It is then when the raw and true content of my soul is open to my conscious. If what I find there is good, than I am okay.

Thanks for joining,


  1. What do you do if the hater is a family member who works to get everyone on "her side"? She is so good at manipulation, the rest of the family believes I am a cry baby, druggie, and hypochondriac. It gets pretty lonely sometimes. :(

  2. Well, Shawna, I have family like that also. I just ignore them! Le them do what they will, because the more you say or do to change it, the more stuff they keep talking. I don't talk to most of my family anymore than absolutely necessary, and though i don't like it that way.... it works out best for me. I told my cousins a couple years back, that my liver was not good, and if it couldn't be helped... by means of the dr. then i may not be around too much longer. I was hoping that maybe it would bring us closer and cause some of the past to be put to rest. Well, it's been 2 years and i still don't hear from any of them,... if i do it is only because i have been the first to say something. I just recently had sinus surgery, and have heard nothing from them now either. So, that will be it for me, as far as they are concerned. Next time it will be them asking the questions and waiting to see if I answer!!! These illnesses are hard enough, for us to work thru without trying to make it easier for everyone else. that is why groups like this exist, so we don't have to be lonely anymore.