Thursday, December 30, 2010

Floating In A Sea Of Chaos

Yesterday I found out my low thyroid, which was thought to be a side-effect of the steroids, is something my doctor wants to treat me for. Never mind that the symptoms of low thyroid have been blaring at me; lethargy, sleeping A LOT, weight gain (not all my thyroid's fault, piggly wiggly!) and malaise. I thought I was just feeling the affects of coming off the Prednisone and the strokes had set my Fibromyalgia management back a bit. I am so used to living sick I did not even question my symptoms as anything other than my body's attempt to balance itself out. But I guess there is now one more medical diagnosis, or condition, to add to the mix. Awesome. And one more medication to add to the collection I already take. Wonderful. But this knowledge has created some sort of shift in my perception, my thinking, and today I find myself fightin' mad!

I am annoyed with the super-intense pep talk my mother gave me this morning. I am irritated with the fact that everything I look at is something that needs to be done. I am SO disappointed with myself for not blogging yesterday. Sleeping until 11 leaves one with not much of a day and NOTHING got done, not even my first and mandatory priority, writing my blog. My house is dirty, I am dirty, the dogs are dirty. Its a good thing my husband takes care of his own hygiene or he would be dirty too! I feel generally out of control, overwhelmed, scattered and directionless. At least life on Prendisone was full of drive and determination! It may have been crack-head fueled drive and determination, but at least I accomplished my objectives. I went to bed at night with a clean house and exercised every day. I jumped out of bed at 7:30 every morning and got stuff done. I actually wonder if The Fibromyalgia Crusade would have been birthed and brought to life if not for the intense need to accomplish Prednisone fueled me with.

But that is all in the past, and what I have to deal with is what is now. My greatest hurdle is self-discipline and time management. I must set structure and routine to my day if I wish to accomplish even a small portion of what lies ahead of me. I have set lofty goals and ambitions for this crusade. I know the momentum has started, rolling down the hill of progress, and the amount of support I am receiving from other Fibrates that are gaining encouragement and strength from our community is TREMENDOUS! So many people believe in this cause, and the success of the approach we are taking to spread awareness and improve the quality of our lives. I still marvel in amazement that my little blog has stirred up all this excitement! So I am going to take a deep breath. I will forgive myself for being human and stop looking through negative colored glasses and put my rose-tinted ones back on! I will respect my body and the limitations my illnesses place upon my productivity. But I will organize. I will persevere. I will march on to move The Fibromyalgia Crusade to the next level with the strength of all of you behind me, in front of me, surrounding me...

Thanks for joining,

P.S. I am trying to improve the visibility of this blog. If you are a fan and on Facebook please click on "Blog" from The Fibromyalgia Fun House page and "Follow" Chronicles Of Fibromyalgia on Networked Blogs. It will improve our search engine rankings and get the word out faster! Thanks friends!


  1. Hang in there , and take time to breathe and be kind to yourself. I know it is easy for others to say, I may have fibro, but have not walked in your shoes, that is for sure. But I know it is very important to do those two things.

  2. I hope you begin to feel better, Leah. If they are going to treat your thyroid, I should think you will. At least a thyroid can be treated. The extra meds is, indeed, a pain, but (as I look at it) at least one thing will ease!
    Best wishes for you, dear!