Monday, February 21, 2011

The Best Revenge Is A Life Well Lived (Repost from December 23, 2010)

Yin Yang is an ancient Chinese philosophy "used to describe how polar or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn. Opposites thus only exist in relation to each other."* Yin represents dark, passive, downward, cold, contracting and weak. Yang stands for bright, active, upward, hot, expanding and strong. As you can see too much of one is not a good thing, it is the BALANCE we strive for. For it is in assuming components of each we seek out to maintain order in our world. When one is sick as can be; downward, cold, contracting and weak, it is the infusion of the opposite that will return health. But if the upward, hot, expanding and strong take over, balance has not been restored and health will not prevail, manic will! As we struggle to find a way to restore equilibrium and wellness to our lives we doubtlessly encounter many difficulties along the way. None are more emotionally devastating than the reactions, criticisms and judgments of people. Be it family, friends, strangers or co-workers, we are desperate for compassion and understanding, yet seldom find it. What we seem to find plenty of is negativity. So in an effort to "yin yang" that negativity we must infuse positivity!

"What, is she nuts?" you might ask. "I am the one that is sick and hurting, cannot function, work, take care of myself or my family, and now I am the one that is supposed to bring positivity to the table?!" And I am saying YES, you are! And for that exact reason, you are the one that is sick! You are the one that cannot deal with stress, trauma, judgment or devastation. All of your energy is already being used up to exist with your illness. You do not have any to give the cold, dank and dark in life. Can you build a little bubble of goodness to live in, ignoring the ignorant and hateful? Can you refuse to listen to or surround yourself with those that will doubtlessly put you down or criticize you? Can you listen to someone spew hate and anger and mean nasty things at you and simply walk away with a smile on your face, knowing they DO NOT MATTER? That is a question only you can answer for yourself. But I can tell you I sure can! I can let it roll off my back, bounce off my bubble and back onto them, not permeate my reality because I have too much else to focus on. Managing my health is darn near a full-time job, then there is work and family responsibilities and that wonderful quality of life issue. I am way to busy living my life to take the time to listen to the haters and inciters of this world. Let them exist in their small-minded misery. Let them swim in the cesspool of crap they are eternally stuck in, their negativity and anger sucking them deeper and deeper until they eventually destroy themselves. You need not spend one second more of your precious energy or positivity on them. Only focus on you.

For it is in living well that the best revenge is served. It is in not caring or allowing the bad in life to take you down that you prevail. It is in walking away and not giving it one more thought that you overcome their negativity. Arm yourself with a few short replies to the myriad of off-putting comments that will come at you and then become an expert at CHANGING THE SUBJECT or simply walking away. This is one more step in The Fibromyalgia Crusade. One more step to getting our lives back. One more step to taking control. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best; "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." There is such deep truth in that statement. Stand strong my soldiers! One thing I have learned in the 4 short months this blog has been public is the storms rise up like clock-work. Everything will be calm and good for a few days and I will think in the back of my mind, "What's next, where is the next upset going to come from?" And sure enough, it comes. Again and again. I can only assume these are the lessons I must learn in life in order to move forward. But I cannot get stuck, tangled up in them, or I will never reach my full purpose, fulfill my destiny. We have each other, some are lucky enough to have friends or family that support them, but most of all you have yourself. The one person that will always be there for you, understand you and love you. But only if you make 'em!

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  1. Thank you, Leah. I needed to hear this today.

  2. When I was on one of my daily walks last week, I had similar thoughts running through my mind. I notice how much better I feel, even when in pain, if I try to stay more positive and find things to take my mind of the 'negative'. I believe it is the same you hear about Cancer patients; that is if you stay positive, your body works in a positive way to help heal itself. On the other hand, if you constantly feel sorry for yourself, give up on life and dwell on all that negativity, your body is not in a good position to help itself. It takes more energy and struggle to get through each day when you think "why me" all the time.
    I have learned that even if I don't feel good, I still do my utmost to go and do whatever I can instead of being a quitter. Sometimes it hurts, but the satisfaction I get with the end result is so worth it to me. I feel like I just climbed Mt Everest or something huge.
    On a day that I'm down and out, I just don't worry over it, because I know that ALL days won't be like that. It's kind of like planning an outing or a picnic for the next day and you wake up and there is 100% chance of heavy rain all day. You get sad about it, but you plan it for another day and still enjoy it, maybe even more so. With this disease, we all have to "take it one day at a time".

    Judy Johnson