Monday, April 19, 2010

Taxes, A Vacation And A Funeral

What a whirlwind week! My husband was home on vacation this last week and he sure kept me busy. All my indulgences were under a microscope so it was nose to the grindstone! One of the things that did not quite make the list of mandatory was, I am sad to say, my writing. Clearly something that I still must make a priority, so hopefully the structure and organization I have been pining for will anchor it. But I was actually quite productive and got tons done and it was great to have him around for 9 days. I did work on the weekends and had class and a test on Thursday but we still got to hang out a lot. I am very lucky that I still really like the person I married after all these years. He got a chance to unwind and de-stress and get some priorities focused. Oh and sleep, the poor guy! I do believe he is truly finding his way. The living hell that is the impact of this disease on our lives all these years later is just now leaving the "building" stage and beginning to recede. This has been long and arduous!

But I digress... He did gain an actual appreciation for what it takes to run our lives, household and finances. He was quite helpful with things and at one point looked at me and said, "Wow, you really are busy!". Score that point, girl! The taxes were due. Boo hoo hoo hoo! But we have lived to see another year and are still standing strong. Building and coercing and caressing the life we want out of the life we have. But really at the end of the day what choice do you actually have? Lie down and take whatever comes your way? Allow the bullshit of life to define your experience and therefore your existence? Hell no! Fight back and don't let up until you see the mold you are casting for your life really start to take shape. Life is fragile and quick and only experienced fully by the takers. The risk-takers, the fame-takers, the chance-takers and the love-takers. The passionate!

I am very sad to say that my uncle, my father's brother, passed away last week. He was only 66. Early onset Alzheimer's with official COD still undetermined. It is all very sad. My dad is taking it pretty hard. The obituary is very dear and hopefully his wife and 7 children will provide him with an honorable and memorable farewell. Wow life is short. And it is interesting how the sum of a person boils down to what we leave behind. The relationships, the legacies, the familial bonds that transcend generations. The mark left on those known, society, and the world as a whole. What a person leaves behind is a true reflection of who we were as people on this earth, what we really believed in and felt. Good or bad, revered or alone, powerful or poor, its a tell of the heart of a person. Upon death all the pretense falls away and the memory that is left could quite possibly be the first real glimpse into the complex and true depth of that person's soul.

Thanks for joining,

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