The River Wild

This blog was originally published on 7/25/10, the day after my first stroke. I did not know it was a stroke at the time and just assumed I was having a hormonally induced migraine, even though it was the worst headache of my life. I had such a simultaneous rush of energy I believed I was healing from a 5 year journey with CFS & Fibromyalgia and eagerly anticipated feeling like a normal human being again. It is very interesting to look back with the wisdom of the future...

My hormones are going wild, but not in a bad way, necessarily. I have not felt this much energy in years! Unfortunately I have also had what is vacillating between a raging migraine and horrible headache since Friday afternoon. I will have to make an appointment to see the doctor if I wake up with it again manana. I can't help but think they are related. 

I have had a rush of functioning coming back to me in the last few months, as though someone has been chipping away at a dam for a very long time and holes are finally sprouting up everywhere. Water is shooting through the holes like its a cheese grater. Pretty soon it is going to burst in a flurry of intense flooding waters, white-tipped with foam driving it forward. It will fill the dry and dead riverbed that has appeared in the wake of the abrupt departure of the life I used to live. The question I am struggling with now is how do I keep these springing leaks and rushing floods of function from wreaking havoc in my carefully re-constructed life?

Thanks for joining,

Leah