I Shoplifted!

I went to my favorite local health food store this past week and my first stop before hitting the dairy case was to grab some incense. I proceeded with the rest of my shopping, checked out and went to grab the keys to my car from inside my purse. I opened my bag to begin fishing through the mayhem and sitting right on top of everything was the incense. I asked my husband if he had put it there. He had not. I racked my brain trying to figure out how it had gotten in there...as it is slowly dawning on me that in my spaced-out medication-dazed Fibro-haze I had most likely put it inside my purse instead of in the cart! Still not willing to admit that my auto-pilot had failed me so I frantically scanned my receipt, hoping I had somehow paid for it though I still had no recollection of how it had come to reside in my purse. No dice, not on the receipt. Cold panic gripped my heart as I realized I had just shoplifted! 

So I grabbed my wallet and the incense and headed back into the store and got in line. I paid for my $1.50 box of incense, left the store and went on my way. My husband asked me what they said when I told them I had left the store without paying for it. I looked at him incredulously and proclaimed, "You think I told them?" But seriously this breakdown of thought to action is quite alarming and could get me in serious trouble. At the very least it is extremely concerning that my brain, void of conscious thought, had directed my body to place something that was not mine into my purse. 

It kinda makes me question all sorts of things that I take for granted, and not just "Did I lock the front door?" or "Did I turn the coffee pot off?" kinda stuff. What really big lapse am I capable of "unconsciously" committing? How can you even begin to explain something like that? "Sorry Officer, I just paid for $96 worth of groceries but felt it necessary to steal a $1.50 box of incense." It terrifies me to wonder how much of my life I spend tooling around in this daze. I guess all is well that ends well. I did not actually steal anything, but I did manage to scare the bejesus out of myself and start to worry about all sorts of "unconscious" actions that could be happening at any time.

Thanks for joining,

Leah

This blog was originally published July 6, 2010. I have reduced my medications substantially since I wrote this, mostly due to no longer working and not being in as much pain along with heavy duty lifestyle management. But yesterday I almost poured vodka into my breakfast smoothie instead of blueberries so am not sure my mind is any more mine than it was then!