Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Who Holds Your Power?

Each of us, as human beings, were created with a flexible mind that is willing to grow and change as circumstances dictate. Our willingness to adapt has been the key to our survival, as a species and a society. But like most other earthly relationships, power struggles quickly emerge, hierarchy is created, and the need to control slips firmly in place. With umpteen thousands of years of this under the collective belt of the human race we now look around to find an unfair world in horrible disarray. One lacking humanity and compassion, often void of any depth of purpose or meaning. As Fibromyalgia patients we can find ourselves on the losing side of this equation all too easily. Many still don't believe our pain is real, doctors included. We are forced to beg and plead and cry and religiously document symptom after symptom, as we travel around seeking a doctor to give us some of that much needed compassion accompanied with a dash of relief from their prescription pad. Family and friends can grow resentful and impatient, irritated and overburdened with the sheer gravity of responsibility they must pick up now that extremely competent you is not functioning. Or able do nearly as much as you used to, are no longer as much fun or simply can't keep up.

And the less we are believed the more our power is stolen. A snatch there from Mr. New Rheumatologist that is dismissive and brisk during a 15 minuet new patient appointment. A snip here from an exhausted husband snapping at your slightest gesture of need at the end of a long day of work. A bit given easily to a friend lecturing you that her friend has Fibro and does ________ and is just fine and you should too! Slowly it is chipped and cracked and eroded until a mild rainstorm turns into the torrential flood that sweeps whatever bits and pieces of power that are left out to sea, knocking you flat on your ass. For any Fibromyalgia patient knows how horribly stress and apathy affect our well being.

But do we realize how much power we really hold over our own lives? How it takes a lot of hard work and determination, but you can get it back? For power is not a state of physical being, it is a state of mind. Through the fog and haze Fibromyalgia blankets you with, it is possible to stop giving it away to the power snatchers and hold onto your precious cargo with all your might. Slowly but surely, little by little, Fibromyalgia patients are standing up and telling the world to bugger off. Get lost, go play in traffic, take a long walk off a short pier! Refusing treatment from doctors refusing to treat your Fibro, dropping the peripheral relationships that cause stress and bring you down, not support you and lift you up. Not allowing anyone else to define how you experience your life and your pain. And that is precisely what we need to do. Each emotional encounter, breakdown, tragedy or just plain good old fashioned trial and tribulation comes with it a call. A charge to look at who exactly holds your power in any given situation, and if it is not you, take it back.
Thanks for joining,


  1. I love your writing. Reading your blog is always one of the best parts of my day!

  2. Dang girl! You've gone and got me weepy again. ;) In the best way though. Thank you Leah for posting this. You are right. So freaking right it's unbelievable. You know what? You are damn right. I get to take control. WE get to take control. So damn you to these panic attacks and low moods.... yes, very real right now, but also I have seen the other side of this madness and I can have it again. Thank you for reminding me of that. <3