Strong In A Storm Of Criticism

One thing that is very important to me is the attitude of this blog remain positive. It is critical for us to support each other with grace and dignity, show respect even if we don't necessarily agree, not compete for who has it harder or suffers more, belittle those that are more fortunate in life or illness and judge those that do it differently or come from a place we don't understand. We face enough adversity in life. The last place we need hindrance is in a place of supposed support and acceptance. I am amazed we have grown as much as we have and our positivity and integrity have remained intact! I am so impressed with the quality of people my blog and The Fibro Fun House (nothing more exciting than my Facebook page) have attracted. I feel such a deep kinship with so many of you. But apparently something I wrote a few days back struck a strong enough nerve to warrant some critical feedback. Wow was that hard for me to take! My initial reaction was, "Screw you, don't read my freakin' blog then!". But I calmed down a bit and re-read the comments enough times to gain an appreciation for the place my readers were coming from.

I am well aware that I am going to encounter PLENTY of criticism and resistance as The Fibromyalgia Crusade grows and I enter very public forums with our message, our plea, to be taken seriously and treated humanely. But knowing and feeling are two very different levels of being! This was actually a very important experience for me to walk through. A very mild version of what pugnacity and attack will inevitably come, and most likely come hard and fast, mean and rough. It had to do with age of illness onset. Some are so young, born with Fibromyalgia, always knowing it. Others pick it up at various stages in life, both male and female, teens, 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, ...you get my drift. I had written that being in my late 20's when I got sick was cause for me to fight fight fight with all my might to manage it because I had my life ahead of me. In writing this I pissed off a whole group that had a different experience than I did, those that got it when they were older or have had it much longer! Wow, so not my intention! I am truly sorry if I came off as insensitive. I was just blogging my personal experience, all I can speak to. Conversely I have also heard from readers that doubt they would have fought as hard had they been younger when they got sick, not knowing any better or having the personal strength to do so, not having as much to lose. The Fibromyalgia experience is SO subjective, so individual, deeply personal!

I had just sat down at my computer this morning, determined to start the week on a good note even though my Lilac was being morphed into a Mulberry outline. But once I read those comments I got all wigged out at the critical feedback. I started feeling flushed and my throat scratchy and my head started aching. I am still immune suppressed on Prednisone and any pain in my head freaks me out about another stroke, so here I sat deflated, confused, hurt. I have given so much of myself to these pages. I have revealed my true heart and soul and received such unconditional acceptance...until now. I felt picked on, attacked for not being perfect. For blogging about my experience and not considering every other position any person that could possibly be reading it held. A wee bit oversensitive, perhaps? Well yes, Prednisone can do that to a girl! But this has actually given me an awesome opportunity to establish how I receive critical feedback going forward and has been an amazing cause for personal growth. For this, my dear readers that felt inclined to speak their minds, I thank you. You stretched me in a way I did not want to stretch, but needed to. As my auntie said to me once as I sat hidden in the bathroom crying after being insulted at a family gathering, "My dear you have very pretty skin, but you need to thicken it!".

Thanks for joining,
Leah