Sunday, November 1, 2015

Day 2: The Sun Will Come Out

Yesterday was hard. One of those days that make me wonder how I've survived so long with this illness. And if all my physical and psychological and emotional turmoil weren't enough, knowing I'd just promised to blog every day for the next thirty days about did me in. Writing yesterday's blog was incredibly hard. I've become accustomed to burying my head in the sand and avoiding reality when I get like that, certainly not talking about it or paying attention to how I feel. How I feel is totally irrelevant when I'm such a hot mess I don't even want to be around myself anymore. Really, who on earth wants to read about a melodramatic sick-chick feeling sorry for herself? But what a total flake, to just bitch out on the first day of my self-imposed challenge! So write that blog I did.  

It was hard, but I've frequently found forcing myself to do something I know is good for me has benefits. Today was no exception. Even though I didn't sleep all that great and had a stiff-neck headache all day, I felt freer in my spirit. I was more clear headed than I'd been in a long while. My problems were still the same, but I wasn't as burdened by their existence. Even being at work wasn't nearly as trying on my sanity. Perhaps writing that blog, when I was in the depths of the really ugly, forced me to turn my sights away from my past and position them on my future? Who knows. All I know is today was indeed a better day than yesterday, and that's all I could have hoped for.

Thanks for joining,
Leah

5 comments:

  1. You are doing well to keep on keeping on. I know the desire to "hide" from the reality that is your life. Indeed the sun will come out!

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  2. Basically, you rock. The world sucks when you have fibro (a lot of the time) and this is your way of drop kicking it back into its place. Very inspiring and thank-you!

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  3. Hi Leah, I, also, suffer from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. It is comforting to know that I am not alone or crazy or a hyperchypochondriac, etc. I am in the belly of a severe flare up right now. Panicking because the symptoms are usually an indication that something is terribly wrong, angry because I had a few months of what resembled a normal life and it, again, has been stolen from me, and hopeless because I'm not sure how much longer I can live this way. I hate the way some Drs treat me. I hate when I actually do try to explain to someone how I feel and they say "yeah , I know how you feel. I was tired the other day or my feet hurt, too " It's not their fault but it doesn't make it any less maddening . Take care and my prayers are with all of us who live with ME/CFS.

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  4. I'm the same person as the one who just commented that my mother just died. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I read your column all the time and I feel guilty that I've never made a comment. But I did want to let you know that I do read it and I think you're a great writer. & I have a lot of qualifications to know what great writing is.

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