Friday, September 30, 2011

Think Big

Today has been a rough one and its only 3 o'clock. I am bogged down by the immediacy of my problems, the crinkles of my day to day life. I am feeling angry and pissed off. Why are things so difficult? Why am I so sick? Why is this my life? I pulled my hair out while paying bills, further stretching those dishwater brown roots I cannot afford a $5 bottle of blonde dye to cover. I bashed people around in my brain, responding to arguments from long ago with the furry of yesterday. For some reason I am particularly sensitive and grouchy today. I did not wake up this way but now I am. Having Fibromyalgia so long has put me in a unique position, for I can tell you "cross my heart and hope to die" with all certainty I am either getting a flare or my period, which are really the same thing after a while. Damnit if I cannot guarantee it! So there I sit on the floor in my office packaging up a few orders, really trying to stop feeling sorry for myself.  It slowly dawned on me there was something missing from my day. Music. 

On went the reggae station and the first song was about praying to God. The next was the cry of an oppressed people dreaming of gaining freedom. Wow if I was not reminded then and there, unconsciously singing along and already feeling better, that life is hard for so many, oh entirely too many. Overcoming challenge is not unique to our species. I opened my mind and thought big picture, global, the eye in the sky. Today, that is what we have. There is love in my life and food in my belly and a warm bed to climb into at night. Really when you break it down, what else do you really need than that? Oh yeah, a reggae station.

Thanks for joining,

1 comment:

  1. Oh sweetie, I love your open heart and honesty on your blog. This is such a great reminder to be thankful for what we have...and that we have all we need. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in material things and how often I change what I want into something that I need. It’s easy to conclude that my life’s purpose can be found in fun, work, and pursuing all my desires...and if I had all that (even my perfect health), then I would be happy and satisfied. But I’ve learned how untrue all that is. No matter how much I have tried, I can’t find contentment in pleasure, projects, and exploration themselves. Only God satisfies. We DO have all we need in him.