Monday, September 26, 2011

Turned Off The Music

I have always been a musical person. Three of my parents were musician so it pretty much insured that was gonna happen. I toured with some bands when I was too little to remember, I have been told. From records to tapes, CD's to ipods, I have grown as the technological boom was bleeding. When I think back on specific times in my life there is always a song there, floating in the back of my head, singing in tune to the thoughts and memories of days of 'yore.

But in 2005 my music turned off. It was not a conscious decision, one of choice. It was a fact, something that just happened. Everything normal in my life shut off, all but the will to survive. For I was very sick and there was nothing left over for anything but that. I turned on the salsa station for background ambiance when I was taking Spanish class a couple of years back, thinking any exposure to the language was only going to make it more familiar and easier for me. Eventually the pulse, the beat, broke its way through the stone walls Fibromyalgia had put around my mind. I remembered music's magical qualities, its ability to infuse your being with the story it is telling. I found myself dancing to the music coming out of my stereo. And I felt my mood lift because the music was happy. It felt good. 

Then I moved over to the reggae station because I needed some variety, and I felt the groove. The feeling you don't have when you are sick, depressed, angry, in pain, sad or broken-hearted. Which of course I had been all of because I was Fibro-socked on my ass. My husband had a gift card to Best Buy and surprised me a couple of weeks back with a set of purple earphones to match my purple mouse and laptop case. So I plugged them in, turned on itunes and sat in the middle of a busy coffee shop racing down the lane of my memories, each song a link to my past and inspiration for my future. It blared at me how necessary music is to my life, my heart and soul. I think the music is back on, folks. When I have felt sad or confused or even pumped up and excited I have put some music in my ear and felt the beat, the destination a song takes you to. And people and things are not annoying me nearly as much lately! Its almost as though it is a medicine for my perceptions.

Thanks for joining,

1 comment:

  1. All I can say Leah is that you are a wonderful, encouraging, bright spot in my day person! I am so thankful that you blog, whenever I come here I leave feeling more knowledgeable or calm or sometimes more curious about this fibro thing. Thank you for sharing your life with us.