Friday, September 24, 2010

A Reason To Leap Out Of Bed In The Morning

I have heard it said that you will never work as hard as when you are starting your own business. The job that was once a grueling and mandatory part of your day becomes an obsession as you pour every ounce of yourself into nurturing and developing your baby, your dream, your ambition. Well I can tell you I am experiencing that for the first time ever and it is so true. YOU, my readers, have given it to me! You have given me confidence and feedback and laughter and heartache and stimulating thoughts and conversations and most importantly a purpose. If you read my earlier blogs, pre-strokes blogs, you will constantly see me bitching about how unmotivated I was. How I was dreaming of an enthusiasm that would cause me to LEAP out of bed in the morning, ready to tackle whatever challenges were ahead of me. Excited and optimistic and full of life and energy, I needed something to grab my heart and pull me out of whatever physical malady was at the top of the list for that day, overriding the pain and sadness and frustration that is living a life compromised by Fibromyalgia.

I am beginning to look at the strokes as a BIG FAT BLESSING! As strange as that may sound, what has happened in my life in the last 2 months is astounding. So grateful to have survived such a horrible scare intact I surrendered myself to my God and literally meditatively prayed "I submit to your will, please use me for your glory" over and over and over again. It would calm my fear and anxiety and put my focus back into perspective. Life ceased to be about Leah and what she wanted, what I thought was important or the next step in rebuilding my life. And the loss in the beginning hurt. I went from setting aside my plans of pursuing a Masters Degree to dropping English Lit and Spanish 2 to dropping Spanish Conversation 1, abandoning school entirely. I retired from my 10 year career as a makeup artist and resigned myself to sit at home and focus on my recovery and live in financial faith. For the miracle that I was even alive was not lost on either my husband or myself, and I truly believed my life was spared for a reason and was not willing to squander that gift.

And then all of a sudden Chronicles Of Fibromyalgia caught on fire. My Facebook page became a nutty-zany place for fellow-fibrates to find a place of recluse, commune with others, get some answers, a little laughter and simply not feel so alone. Each comment I get that my writing has touched someone in some small way beckons me further into my cause. The wilted petals of the flower surrounding my life peeled back and fell away and what is sitting in the center, having been hidden all these years, is simply beautiful. I am gearing up to lead a crusade to change the way Fibromyalgia patients are treated and understood. I am a strong and clear voice for many that have lost theirs and simply don't know where to begin to find it. I also hope to give those that are mad as hell but have no idea where or how to start the battle a little faith in knowing a huge number of us are arming up to defend ourselves. Yes, I am right where I am supposed to be. By opening myself up to being used and releasing my control over my life I have blessed others that have in turn blessed me. So thank you, all of you beautiful souls that have come into my life in the last few months. I now open my eyes in the morning, call my husband to tell him I am alive (new rule post-strokes), throw on my clothes and charge out the door to walk the puppies, anxious to come home and stretch so I can jump on the computer and see where today will lead me...

Thanks for joining,


  1. It's so nice to know there is someone else that understands all of this. Sometimes it's hard to tell where my RA and OA pain ends and the fibro pain begins. I also have a "frozen shoulder" so exercise is almost out of the question. Is arthritis a prerequisite to fibromyalgia or am I just extremely lucky? I would actually feel pretty good if I could just get someone to cut off both of my arms from the shoulders down. 8(

  2. Sorry to get a laugh at the prior post..But, it made me chuckle..But, I to have felt that if I chopped off my arms and legs would it get better..That where does my lupus and arthritis begin or ends and where exactly the fibro exist in it all....TO think that someone else had the same thought..GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!!!
    And Leah I am so hapy for the fact that your blog is taking off. The first time I read it. I fell in love with it..God Bless you GIRL!!! Merry

  3. Leah,

    We do think alike and I think a certain special someone upstairs led us both to think the same thoughts today! ;o) Keep on fighting the GOOD fight hun, right along with me!! You are doing an outstanding job!! I love the positivity I see flowing from your blog now, it looks so good on you!! Love, hugs and many blessings to you my friend! xoxoxo Your Facebook Friend, Trish Jennings

  4. Oh how many times have I said it would be better to not have my legs, I simply could not stand the stabbing, shooting, aching and throbbing. I would get very strange looks and was told to bite my tongue... Where were you all 4 years ago? God bless and stay strong ;)