Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Back To Work, Back To Life

Okay can I just tell you how great it was this morning to have to get up to be somewhere! I have been lost in my own abyss this last month, only accountable to myself with very little commitment to the outside world. But to have to get up, shower, walk the dogs, eat breakfast and actually do my hair, makeup, get dressed and be somewhere by 10am was a wonderful feeling. It is so important to feel needed...

The appointment with my neurologist went very well. He gave me a nice step-down schedule for the Prednisone, lowering it by 5mg this next week and then 5mg every 2 weeks after that until I am off. OH I AM SO HAPPY! I know there are benefits to the steroids far beyond preventing more strokes, one of them being darn near no Fibromyalgia pain, but the cons far outweigh the pros. I would rather implement stringent lifestyle management to keep the Fibromyalgia at bay than this awful pull of uppers and downers the Prednisone has me using to survive. I need another contrast MRI before I see him in a month but overall he was extremely pleased with my progress. So am I! I feel great and am ready to return to the land of the living.

If they say 3rd time is the charm then I guess I have finally gotten it right...3rd illness being the charm. I know I am extremely lucky to have not only lived, but suffer from NO residual neurological damage from the 2 strokes. I am sure if I had I would be singing another tune entirely, and not a very nice one. But as strange as this sounds I feel like the strokes were the proverbial paddles to the heart I needed to shock me back into life. Cleanse me of my mental and emotional and physical garbage and set me on the path of my purpose. The change in my attitude alone is astounding. I want to conquer the world! I want to tell anyone and everyone who will listen that life is a beautiful, painful and exquisite condition that only leads where you take it... I want to take the experiences and gifts and talents I have been given and use them to better the world. Before the strokes I was so private. I had been blogging for 5 months quietly to myself, hoping one day I would have the guts to open it up and start letting the world know what I had to say. But hearing there is a very real chance you may die 1 day and then you are going to be fine the next is incredible. It got me over myself and onto the path I was created to sail down. And man am I sailing!

I know there are more challenges in my future. I know the Fibromyalgia will come back and haunt me and kick my ass on a daily basis. I know money challenges and medical bills and life-management issues and family drama and all the rest are waiting in the wings to bring me down. But as for today, my friends, my vow is to remain tenatious and on top of my game and be stronger than anything thrown in my path...for until my work is done on this planet I have quite a job to do!

Thanks for joining,

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