Monday, November 26, 2012

Dear Fibromyalgia,

Oh you nasty little bugger. You've changed my life in so many ways since we met in 2005. In fact, very few relationships have impacted me as quickly and completely as the one I have with you. While I've been certain you were going to take me down more times than I can count, somehow I find myself sitting here today stronger than you. Much stronger. I've changed in a lot of other ways too. Patience, compassion and courage have taken on new meaning in my life. Empathy and acceptance as well. Gratitude for things great and small replaces oodles of entitled expectation. Usually. And my understanding of this world, how it works and the place I fit into it has been revolutionized beyond my wildest imagination. 

But it has taken me so much to get here. Insurmountable challenges I never though I would overcome. Grief, despair and heartache so grand I didn't believe there was anything else in this world I would ever feel. Except for the pain. Oh that pain. I try to describe you, but the words I can find are like taking a piece of broken glass and telling someone to see the brilliance of a cut diamond. Pathetically inadequate.

People used to tell me I was creative, but the creativity you forced me to create, well it's astounding! How to see good in bad, happy in sad, satisfaction in want and satiation in neglect. The art of taking a challenge and turning it into an opportunity to do better. Realizing there is no longer a heartbeat in yesterday, and it still has yet to find tomorrow. There is only one place life exists, the beating pulse of today. Because learning how to accept you is how I recovered much of what you've cost me. For all that you have taken, there is so much more that I've gained.

Thanks for joining,

1 comment:

  1. Oh, the truth of it all! Thank you for writing this. <3