Thursday, August 11, 2011

Super-Human Superhero

I am an avid fan of Project Runway. Ms. Heidi Klum herself initially attracted my husband to the show. We both got quickly hooked on the super-accomplished super-model and her runway competitions. There is a designer this season that has only been sewing for 4 months! She was in the Miss Universe pageant in 2008, holds a BFA in communications design from a prestigious design school and now owns and creates her own successful clothing line. And she is under 30. So we waited for the first competition to watch her get creamed, never believing such a "newbie" to the craft could withstand the vigorous competitions the contestants are strung through. Much to our surprise, her first outfit was quite gorgeous. The second competition it was to our lesser surprise that again she pulled off garments that possessed beautiful design and execution, style and fluidity. 

Also a die-hard General Hospital aficionado, I watched James Franco guest star on my soap a few times the same year he was nominated for an Oscar. He plays an avant-garde psychopathic murdering performance artist, specializing in posing the dead and photographing them. That seemed perplexing to me. Is he a fan? Why would an Academy Award nominated actor keep coming back to a re-occurring role in a daytime soap? Then I discovered a little bit more about Mr. Franco. He graduated with his MFA from Columbia, is obtaining his PhD in English from Yale, is studying at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts AND all the while completing coursework in digital media at a private design school and (drumroll, please) has been selected for the PhD in literature and creative writing at the University of Houston. Are you kidding me? All at the same time? What a twerp! He just sounds annoying. Who are all these super-human people, celebrities, public figures, that do like 50 things at once? Why do they exist? How can one person even begin to balance that many thoughts and ideas at one time? I can only assume the compartmentalization skills must be remarkable. For my mind gets all stressed out if I have a messy house and loads of laundry in my basket. Dinner to cook and dishes to do. Then I read about these super-achievers and get all stressed out again, knowing if I had never even gotten sick I still could not do as much, as well, as they do. Yes I know there is a huge financial gap, and I am sure that makes up plenty of difference, but still... 

And as I am rolling this ball around in my mouth it hit me. We, my fellow Fibrates, work just as hard as they do! Yet with none of the recognition or success or benefit of wealth, celebrity and influence. We constantly challenge ourselves with each step we take in surviving the daily chaos of living chronically ill. Some of us have been doing it for so long there is not much memory of life being any other way. With each trip to the grocery store, slow struggle into work, battle with the insurance company, we demonstrate extreme unbreakable strength. A mother of 3 small children pops open her eyes in the morning, wondering how on earth she is going to get through yet another day. But she does. The husband that wonders how on earth he is going to continue to support his family, the pain and stress piling on thicker and thicker with each flare he pushes through. And many many times those flares hit very hard, the hormones shoot rockets, brain chemicals surging out of whack. And one's morale is downgraded, to the point that not going on with life any longer sounds the rational choice, the only one to make, in fact. But yet again we do not give in. And in turning around from that place, that horrible awful place so many of us have been time and time again, once again that remarkable strength is exercised. I get so frustrated that I can only accomplish what I do, feeling inadequate and simply incapable of taking care of myself, my life, my responsibilities. But in each day we wake, and survive, always pushing through to make it through, keep in mind my dear friends, how remarkable you truly are. You are my super hero!

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Today marks the 1 year anniversary Chronicles Of Fibromyalgia has been published. Thank you for the 76,000 views!

1 comment:

  1. First & Most Important: This blog = Excellent resource and inspiration.... You are not alone....

    Feel and relate to: "no map, manual," adulthood total mess... self-medicated...somehow able to figure it out, 1 painful lessons @ a time," " got sick...learn all over to love myself {Me:(not sure I did before illness)}...wanted to crawl under a rock," WORKED VERY HARD TO GET BACK WHAT FIBROMYALGIA TOOK FROM ME!" Thanks Leah.