What If

Let's suppose I tell you about something that kinda happened this past weekend. I say kinda because nothing else but me freaking out actually ever happened. On Friday night my husband and I went to Costco to exchange a package of bread. I did not bother to check it last week when I bought it and half of one of the loaves was missing. So we are in the parking lot and he is between aisles, about to cross the main entrance. Well he sees a spot on the other side of the entrance and slowly drives towards it. A car enters the parking lot and is coming right at us. A big ol' honkin' white Cadillac with the lady from the Wendy's "Where's The Beef" advertising campaign driving it. Remember her, the one with the big bun on top of her head? Yeah, well she is careening slowly towards my passenger side. But my husband does nothing. He does not stop, does not even accelerate. I am screaming at him to DRIVE! GO! He slowly keeps scooching into the car heading straight to t-bone us on my side and does NOTHING! I am screaming DRIVE DRIVE at the top of my lungs and not understanding why he is still inching into this accident! Seriously, what is he doing? He has not even honked! He slowly passes and we don't hit because Where's The Beef stops her boat so we can cross.

Oh my dear husband, feel sorry for him, because at this point I have seen my future and am screaming ballistic. Like psycho crazy woman. I am so angry. I trembled and yowled in confused rage as he woke up or came back from wherever he was (wishing he was far away from me I can be sure). But I had seen it, a car accident. A smash of vehicles which if it did not injure me would surely absorb countless hours of my life in complication. I got so mad because I realized how close I walk the edge of  "more than I can take." I witnessed how easily a person's innocent negligence could destroy this carefully knitted and nurtured house of cards I have made for myself. The only life I can stand after being so sick, in so much pain, for so long. I became overwhelmed with the feeling of, "Once she finishes swimming in the depths of one Andy Gump lets just throw her in another!" So no drama, we were lucky this time. But if that didn't show me I better toughen up and do it quick then I don't know what will. Life is a brutal game and I gotta be prepared to take the punches. It just would be so much easier if I knew when and where to expect them.

Thanks for joining,

Leah