Family Put The Y In Dysfunction

I don't use this blog to bitch about my family. They are good people for the most part. Human and mistake-making, flawed as we all are, but certainly not malicious. However, on Monday I was grossly maligned. And boy do I have something to say about it! It wasn't my blood, it was my husbands, but that does little to erase the sting. See apparently his sister feels sorry for him, saddled with a wife who is sick and all. From the way I am treated I kind of already knew that. But it goes much further than this. Somehow in her delusion she's become convinced of a concept so outlandish one couldn't help but dismiss it as, well, simply crazy. So here it is. Her theory states I "concealed" my illness when we got married, therefore "tricking" my husband into a fraudulent marriage he is now "stuck" in. Once this gross assumption came out in the open oh ya betcha I blew. Smoke billowing out my ears like a choo-choo train smokestack. I felt weird, oddly judged. It quickly grew into disbelief and then outright anger. Slowly it dawned on me she thought I was a liar, a swindler, the kind of woman who "traps" a man. What kind of man is this who is "trapped" in my web? Certainly not the one I am married to, he stands up for himself and what he believes in. Hard to imagine he came from the same people she does.

Do you think my sister-in-law is on the hunt for a new wife for her brother? I sure do! I have become quite a liability, extremely expensive and have not fulfilled the one purpose of my entire existence, popping out babies. So she wants to discard me, throw me away because I have outlived my usefulness. And do it all by concocting a fanciful tale which allows her to remain conceptually Catholic, but with the added benefit of effectively exiling me from her family by tracing my poor health all the way back to the beginning of our marriage. By believing I swindled her family and "trapped" her brother, the entire existence of our union would be nullified. This is the manipulation of religion at its ugliest. Not to mention she is just plain wrong. I got married in 2001 but didn't get sick until 2005. I guess that was a pretty effective concealment. Even I didn't know I was sick for four whole years!

After I stopped smarting from the colossal smack across the face I realized this really was quite a creative point of view. And severely and sadly fallacious, nuts and just plain stark raving mad. Unfortunately intellectualizing and rationalizing this whole malady in my mind did little to heal my heart from the deep wound taking over any love, fondness or respect I once possessed for my husband's relation. I know I am not alone here. Sick people are inconvenient. Demanding. Messy. We require a lot. Force those around us to readjust their expectations in many personal and individual facets. But she is an idiot. Threw the baby out with the bathwater because now her brother wants nothing to do with her. Ever. After leaning on some very supportive shoulders I am getting a grip. A flare too, but I kinda knew that was par for the course. Being judged sucks. So do false accusations, blatant lies and complete disregard because let's face it, sick is just not popular. Continuing to fight for what is good and right I am putting this ridiculous farce up on the shelf and walking away. I have too much to do and many important things to accomplish. And I ain't givin' her one more second of my thought. Haven't I said it before the best revenge is a life well lived? Well I am gonna go live it.

Thanks for joining,

Leah