At this point in my Fibromyalgia journey my flares are pretty predictable. Two to four times a month I will suffer from a bevy of viral symptoms. In the past it has felt like Shingles. Luckily it's been a few years since my symptoms were that extreme. These days my flares usually start with a severely hellacious mood. Right as I am about to commit myself to a rubber room buckled tight into a straight jacket the inside of my mouth will shred to pieces. This reminds me there is a physical reason for my emotional turmoil. Then the boil comes. For some unbeknownst reason my face seems to be the choice spot for the last year or so. Next enters the aching face, throbbing skull, congestion and generous smattering of pain and malaise across my body. There's more but that's how the ball gets rolling...
Last week I started feeling bad but it was nothing like the aforementioned. I was pretty much incapacitated with pain and fatigue. So while half of me freaked out, convinced I was dying, the other half ran around telling the first half to shut up. There is nothing new wrong with you. It's just Fibro. Repeated like a broken record over and over. Then I realized we were nearing the end of July and that's precisely what I told myself three years ago when I spent four days ignoring the first stroke. It took having another one to go to the E.R. The fact that I lived through the whole long ordeal is nothing short of a miracle. Had I just done the same thing again? Ahhh, anniversaries can be hard.
How on earth do I know if there is something new wrong with me or that miserable beast Fibro presenting in a new way? If I had a buck for every time I asked myself that question I could throw a very fun party. It is very hard to know, and that is a huge part of what makes this illness so hard. The symptoms I suffer from are so horrible, sweeping and varied I can't even trust my own judgment to assess if I am in danger or not. With joy I report that flare ended, I felt good for a couple of days, and a normal viral one has begun. You bet your sweet bippie I've never been so glad to experience a hellacious mood, shredded mouth, facial boil, and an aching and throbbing body.
Thanks for joining,
Leah
