My life is pathetic. I have lost so much of who I am, what I was. I hurt in my heart, I hurt in my head, I hurt in every part of my body. My life has been scaled down to accommodate my illness and it is a very solitary lifestyle. Not many people to talk to, not many experiences anymore. Before I got sick I was the life of the party. I was fun! Oh I am thankful for what I do have, for many are not so fortunate. But compared to what I did have I accept my role in life is being played at 50% of its potential. And I can cover it up with cherries and rainbows and puppy dog smiles, but the reality of the situation is I straight up got half my life taken away from me. I got half the possibilities that should have been afforded to me. The other half just got up and walked away. One day your sick and as you are trying to figure out exactly how to live this way the next thing you know, you wake up 5 years later and your life just does not resemble your life anymore...
We have been robbed, and this goes for any chronically ill person ever, not just Fibrates. We adapt and comply and accept what is now, knowing we are choosing out of a limited basket to begin with. And we build an existence that supports who we are. And we quietly put the goals and ambitions of who we were into the closet of no more. Life turns into a struggle to survive, each day a chore, seeking out joy and laughter where ever it can be found. But I don't want to feel this way anymore! I want to champion a cause! I want the world to know about Fibromyalgia. I want research and funding and clinical trials and acceptance of core-health, Functional Medicine style. I want to get better. I don't want this "managed", I want to heal! So anyone who is interested in pursuing this cause, come with me. If you are in the mood to actually be an ACTIVIST for Fibromyalgia, comfortable with the mess of fighting for a cause come with me. For those that are not we really don't have too much in common anymore. For we are going to spread awareness, make a fuss, get all sorts of people and things riled up and NOT STOP UNTIL THEY FIGURE OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH US, and then hopefully how to fix it.
Thanks for joining,
Leah
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