Somebody nominated me for a WEGO Health Award. Me. Like I deserve a nomination for any sort of award. Nevertheless, I want to thank the person who took time out of their life to throw my hat in the ring. I have some strong opinions about myself when it comes to this blog, not to mention my basically nonexistent fibromyalgia awareness efforts. Flaky and not dependable are two terms that come to mind. I disappear for months at a time. Half of my blog is spent ranting and raving over what is. Life is an overwhelming experience for me. Sometimes getting up each day takes more than I have. As a result, consistency is not my strong suit.
Yet somebody still cares. It's a marvel. I don't feel worthy of having people care. Every time I stop blogging for an extended amount of time, I start up again with the fantasy that everyone has written me off as an unstable drama queen and I can kinda use this blog as a journal nobody will read. Albeit one published on the net, but a personal accounting of my twists and turns nonetheless. It doesn't take long for the hit counter to start rolling, letting me know people are indeed reading. Who are you? And why are you still with me? I honestly want to know.
I have a bad history with comments. There was a lot of hate exchanged in the comments section of this blog back in the early days. Reading the comments people left me used to inspire a freak out. Before I'd even open the darn thing, I'd prepare for the worst. My heart would start racing. My vision would tunnel in. Blood flow whooshing in my ears, I'd close my eyes and press the button with all the trepidation of a person nuking the world. And if the comment was mean, well, I'd most immediately, quite certainly come undone. Is it any wonder I shut comments off for a while?
It's a new day over here in Leahland. Comments don't scare me. Trolls and cyber bullies don't scare me. Quite frankly, I don't think there are all that many pointed in my direction anymore. And if there are, I don't care. I've got stuff to do. I've got a life to live, health to reclaim, and success to achieve. Perhaps I'm armoring myself up in preparation for the YouTube channel I decided to start with my husband. We're vlogging our experience with intermittent fasting. I can only imagine how rude those comments are going to get...
The thing is, in spite of my fear and paranoia over being made aware of the general public's opinion of me, I've encountered some amazing people along the way. Like the person who cared enough to take the time to nominate me for the WEGO Heath Award. Thank you, whoever you are. Finding the motivation to put myself and my sorry little existence out there year after year can wane. It means a lot to know somebody still cares.
Thanks for joining,
Leah
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